INTRODUCTION

(attention)

Thomas Wolfe, that great author who is best know for that book, You Can't Go Home Again, wrote these words. I want you to listen to them. He said, "Loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence. When we examine the moments, acts and statements of all kinds of people, not only the grief and the ecstasy of the greatest poets, but also the huge unhappiness of the average soul as evidence by the innumerable strident words of abuse, hatred, contempt, mistrust and scorn that forever grate upon our ears as the man-swarm passes us in the streets. We find, I think, that they are all suffering from the same thing. The final cause of their complaint is loneliness."

This morning, you may be sitting next to someone who is crying on the inside because they are so lonely. And many people don't even suppress it, they just cry on the outside. Both literature and music are drawn to the theme of loneliness because those who write books and music know that when the subject is loneliness it strikes at the very core with a multitude of people. People from all walks of life are lonely. Loneliness is like death in that it is not a respector of persons. It comes to the young and old, the black and the white, the rich and the poor, the famous and the not so famous, the popular, and the not so popular. Loneliness affects people from all walks of life.

Now, our heavenly Father foresaw and foreknew that we would be lonely. He knew what it was to be lonely. That's why He said over in Genesis, "I'm going to make man a helpmate, because it's not good that a man should be alone."

Now, the author of this Psalm knew what it was like to be lonely. He says in verse 6 and 7, "I am like a pelican of the wilderness; I am like an owl of the desert. I lie awake, And am like a sparrow alone one the housetop." This Psalmist feet lonely.

interrogative\transition: What is loneliness? I want us to see loneliness this morning from four vantage points.

BODY

Division #1 Loneliness is a Desolate Feeling

Let me give you an example of that from my own life. After graduating high school and acquiring a full time job, I had an opportunity to move out of my parents house. This was a man I knew who owned a large home near Roebuck. He would often rent out the basement portion of his house to students looking for a place to stay. It had a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom. It seemed like the perfect place for a young bachelor to live. He offered it to me at a good price. So I jumped on it. I told my parents about it because I thought it was a good opportunity. They didn't think much about the idea, but I did. In my mind, I thought freedom, independence, doing what I wanted to do, going the bed when I wanted to go to bed, coming and going when I wanted to come and go. I thought it would be wonderful. Well, it was---for about two week. Then I began to realize all the t.v. dinner I was eating, all the laundry I was doing, and all the walls I was looking at with noone to share them with. Before I knew it, I was all alone and I feet lonely. I felt so lonely I could cry. One night I was lying there in bed staring up at the ceiling and a critter of some sorts, I think it was a chipmunk but it sounded like a big rat was running back and forth in the ceiling. At that point I decided it was time to leave and go back home. I begged my parents to take me back in and they did. They didn't say anything, but the expression on their faces said, "I told you so." I had gotten alone in that place and I felt so lonely.

Now, you do know that you don't have to be alone to feel lonely. You can live in a crowed city and have people all around you and still feel lonely. Henry David Thoreaux said this about city life, "A city is just where hundreds of people are lonely together."

You can be all by yourself and feel lonely. You can be in a crowd and feel lonely. No matter if you are alone or in a crowd, loneliness is a desolate feeling. Loneliness is feeling cut-off. It's feeling unnecessary. It's feeling like if you died, nobody would even bother coming to your funeral. That's what it is. The silence of loneliness is deafening. You can hear it at night when you crawl into a bed half-empty because your spouse has walked out. You hear it in a home that is quiet because all the kids have grown up and moved away and your husband or wife just died. You can hear it in that empty mailbox where there never is any mail because nobody ever writes you anymore. Loneliness is such a desolate feeling.

Division #2 It is also a Definite Fact

I want you to think about loneliness not only as a desolate feeling, but also s a DEFINITE FACT. There is no denying the effects or the existence of loneliness. Have you ever sat down and thought about how loneliness just permeates our culture? You think about, for example, the ads on television. Remember that prominent add that one company had out, "Reach Out and Touch Someone?" You know what the unsaid message is? Somebody out there is lonely. You ever watch those beer commercials? I hate to say it, but some of the most clever commercials in the world are beer commercials. Have you ever noticed in those beer commercials that they never drink alone? They always drink with buddies. Listen, do you know what they're trying to sell? They're not selling alcohol. They're selling friendship. What they're saying is, "If you drink my brand of beer, if you drink my brand of booze, if you drink my brand of wine, you will never, ever be lonely." Hollywood and Madison Avenue have discovered that loneliness is a button that you can push to make people buy almost anything.

Now that raises a question. Why do we get lonely? Why is loneliness such a definite fact? Why is it we could be in a crowd of 2 million people and still feel lonely? Let me give you six reasons why we get lonely.

Number one, SORROW. There is the sorrow of rejection. People get lonely because they fell in love, but someone broke off the engagement. They got married and their spouse walked out on them and now they are afraid of another relationship. There is the sorrow of loss. People get lonely because their husband or wife has died. People get lonely because their best friend has died. They are lonely because of that loss and somehow they just can't seem to get over it and get on with their life and they're drowning in a sea of loneliness. Sorrow is a reason why people are lonely.

Number two, SELF-ESTEEM. There are people in our society who cannot accept others because they cannot accept themselves. They have low self-esteem. Instead of building bridges they are building walls. They want to be lonely. People like this are often called loners. They choose to be lonely. Self-esteem is a reason people are lonely.

Number three, SELFISHNESS. Some people are lonely and it is their own fault. They are lonely because they are so self-centered, so wrapped up in themselves, so self-opinionated, so in love with self people can't stand to be around them. Two men were talking about a man like this that they worked with. One man said, "You know, John and his wife both have something in common." He said, "What's that?" He said, "They both love him." Selfishness is a reason why people are lonely.

Number four, SUCCESS. If you are a success and you're climbing that corporate ladder, let me warn you about something. It's lonely at the top. You see, when you are at the top, people seem to disappear. Maybe its jealously. Maybe it's because of envy. Maybe it's because of intimidation. Did you know that some of the loneliest people in the world are some of the most successful people in the world? Peter Drucker, the guru of modern-day American management, says that the four toughest jobs in America are these: to be president of the United States, to be president of a major university, to be a chief administrator of a large hospital and to be th senior pastor of a large church. And you know what he said? The one thing all four of these jobs have in common is loneliness. Success is a reason why people are lonely.

Number five, SOCIETY. We live in a society that has depersonalized the human being. You are known more by your number than your name. What's your social security number? Do you have your insurance number? What' the number on your driving liences? What's your credit card number? They want your number not your name. Society is a reason why people are lonely.

Number six, SIN. Sin is the real cause and the root cause of loneliness. The first emotion Adam ever felt in the Garden of Eden when he sinned against God was loneliness. He was so lonely, he was so cut-off fro God that the Bible says when God came, he tried to hide because he was so lonely. And friend, ever since then there hs been an emptiness, a loneliness that every person feels because every person has been separated by sin from God.

(transition) Loneliness is a desolate feeling and a definite fact. Now I want you to look at loneliness from another vantage point.

Division #3 Loneliness is a Destructive Force

Loneliness can do great physical and psychological damage. Doctors have discovered that 50% of all of the people in America who had heart attacks, at the time they had the heart attack were depressed and lonely. Now, you think about that. One out of every two who had heart attacks were depressed and lonely. There's physical damage. There's also psychological damage. It's been estimated that 80% of the people who go to a psychiatrist and seek psychological help come because of feelings associated with loneliness. Many of our suicides take place because people get so tired of battling the monster of loneliness.

Division #4 Loneliness is a Defeated Foe (Here is the thrust of my message. Here is were it gets real practical. Here is how you can deal with the feeling of loniness).

A. Loneliness is a defeated foe. I read this week that loneliness affects every 3 out of 10 people. Now I know you didn't come here today to hear me talk about how bad it is. You can hear today to hear me talk about what you can do about it. So for the next few minutes I'm going to be talking about what you can do about loneliness.

People will try and do nearly anything to eliminate loneliness. I read about a man who went to see a psychiatrist. He said, "What can I do for you?" He said, "I want you to give me a split personality." He said, "Why do you want me to give you a split personality?" He said, "So I'll have somebody to talk to." People will try nearly anything to eliminate loneliness. Some people try pills, but that doesn't work. Some people try pleasure, but that doesn't work. Some people try possessions, but that doesn't work. Some people try position, but that doesn't work. Some people try prestige, and it doesn't work. People have tried all these things, and they don't work.

Let me give you a prescription for loneliness. One that the master physician wrote and the servant pharmacist can read. It's not in pills, pleasure, possession, position, or prestige, it's in a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ.

B. I want to give you two practical solutions on how to make loneliness a defeated foe. Here are two things to do when you are lonely, number one, REACH UP TO THE SAVIOR. Nobody understands your loneliness like Jesus. Do you why? Because Psalm 102 is a Messianic Psalm. If you were to read this entire Psalm, you will find out that it is a prophecy, a foretelling of the Lord Jesus Christ. This Psalm is about the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus knew loneliness when He was on earth. Nobody has ever know loneliness like Jesus. He understands what is is to be rejected. He understands what it is like to feel like "nobody love me. Nobody cares about me. Nobody even knows who I am." As a matter of fact, in John 1:11, the Bible says, "He came unto his own, and his own received him not." Did you know that for most of His ministry, Jesus' own family did not believe in Him? His half-brothers and half-sisters did not believe in Him. His own hometown didn't believe in Him. On one occasion Jesus said referring to Himself, "A prophet is not without honor except in his own country." There was one town where Jesus could not perform a miracle. Do you remember were it was? Nazareth, His own hometown. Jesus knew what it was to be lonely. He was rejected by His family. He was rejected by His hometown. He was rejected by His disciples and in His greatest hours of need, they all turned, tucked tail and ran. As a matter of fact the unthinkable happened---are you listening to me? At the hour of His greatest hurt, He was even rejected by His own Father. The Bible says that as Jesus was hanging there on the cross, dying for our sins, God was such a holy God that when He put the sins of the world on the shoulders of Jesus, the Bible says that God, so holy and so pure, He could not even look upon sin. And the Bible says the last friend Jesus had turned His back on Him and Jesus felt so lonely that He said, "My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"n Jesus knew what it was like to be alone and He came to earth so you'd never be lonely again. Jesus said in John 14:23, "...,If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him." You see, the first cure for loneliness is to reach up to the Savior and when you do, He moves in and lives with you forever. So wherever you go and whereever you are Jesus is there with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. I love what Psalms 139: 9-10 says, "If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me."

Here's the second practical solution, a second cure for loneliness. Number two, REACH OUT TO THE SUFFERING. I'm going to say something that you might not believe and probably don't want to hear if you are experiencing loneliness. No matter how lonely you may be, somebody else is lonelier than you are. No matter how many problems you have, somebody else has more problems than you have. No matter how much you hurt, somebody else is hurting more than you. If you really want to cure your loneliness get out of the bed of self-pity, put on some cloths, walk out door, and find somebody else that's also lonely and you will forget about your loneliness. You say, "Well, what good will that do?" The author of The Devil's Advocate said, "It is not new thing to be lonely. It comes to all of us sooner or later. If we try to retreat from it, we end in a darker hell. But if we face it, if we remember that there are a million others like us, if we try to reach out and comfort them and not ourselves, we will find in the end that we are lonely no longer." You say, "Preacher, I don't believe that, that is a quote from somebody else." Well would you believe me if I gave you a quote from the Bible? Isaiah 58: 10 is one of the greatest promises in all the Bible and it says, "If you extend your soul to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted soul, then your light shall dawn in the darkness, and your darkness shall be as the noonday." If you still don't believe me then do this. Go up to the hospital and find somebody that has no family or friends and sit by their bedside and read the Word of God to them. You say, "What good will that do?" You'll find that you won't be very lonely anymore. That's what good it will do. God says in Isaiah 58:10 if you wallowing around in your self-pity, going around saying, "I'm so lonesome I could cry," and get out and help some other poor soul you will get better.

CONCLUSION

restate:

Loneliness is a desolate feeling, a definite fact, a destructive force, and a defeated foe.

visualization:

Dr. James Merrit, the current president of Southern Baptist Covention told this story, "About a year ago, I was flying back from Mississippi. I sat down next to an old black woman who was at least 80 years of age, a beautiful, precious black lady. Her name was Alma Watson. Alma was saved in 1939. I said to her, "Alma, tell me how you got saved. How did you come to know the Lord?" She said, "I was 16 years old and I got pregnant. Back then, when you got pregnant, especially if you were a black girl in Mississippi, you talk about shame, you talk about disgrace, you talk about being painted down the back of your body? In 1939, that's the way things were. It's not such a shame and stigma anymore." She said, "I was ostracized. I was an outcast. I was separated. Nobody had anything to do with me. I felt so alone." She said, "I was out in the woods one day and I was seriously contemplating taking my life and ending everything. I coun't stand it and a voice came to me from out of the blue and said, 'Alma, you are not alone if you have Me.'" She said, "It was so audible, Brother Merritt, I looked around because I couldn't believe it. I thought it was my imagination." She said, "But the voice kept saying over and over and over, 'Alma, you are not alone if you have Me. You are not alone if you have Me." She said, "Brother Merritt, it was at that point in my life, in those woods, I began to honestly and earnestly and diligently seek the Lord. I got back and told my momma about it and my momma said, 'Alma, you know who that voice is? It is the Lord Jesus calling you to be saved.'" She said, "I got down on my knees on that little 'ole dirt floor there in the Mississippi Delta and I prayed and I asked Jesus to come into my heart and save me and forgive me for all my sins." I'll never forget what she said then as the tears were running down her cheeks and my eyes had welled up. She looked at me and she said, "Brother Merrit, that's been 51 years ago and I realize today that as long as I have Jesus I'm never alone."

action:

You are never alone through Jesus Christ. When you've got Jesus, you're never alone. I want to make just another comment about loneliness and then I'm finished. The greatest loneliness you will ever feel, you will ever know is when you stand before the judgment seat of God without the Lord Jesus Christ. There's no loneliness that you're going to feel when Jesus looks at you and says, "Depart from Me, I never knew you. Get out of My sight," and you spend eternity separated forever from a loving, living God. Friend, that is real loneliness. I want to tell you this, it doesn't have to be that way and if you're lonely, you come to Jesus and you'll never be alone anymore.